Anybody else feeling depressed and helpless? i need advice?

Answers:6   |   LastUpdateAt:2012-09-06 21:54:03  

Question
Beval
Asked at 2012-08-14 21:47:03
I have 27 years of age. I am an only child. When I was 17 and my dad was completely changed and moved on with their lives, not paying child support, do not worry about me or my mom anymore.

At age 21 my mother died a short illness. I was / am still very traumatized. I have no siblings and his side of the family blamed me because they were angry with my father for what he did to my mother, so do not talk to my family.

I am married to a great man, thank God ... He is what keeps me going. I have no connection with my family. My father is having a relationship with me, but it is false. No help with anything, when my mother died I was alone in dealing with the sale of your home, pack and all bills and funeral expenses. He was very careless and still, all he thinks about is himself. They were not officially divorced, separated only by how much ... of things that were in charge of your name too.

My husband and I have a small landscaping business is not doing much business right now because of the economy. Fortunately, he has another job. I have no college education and the need for a job. I feel very depressed because I like to go to college, but the course you want to take does not offer student loan and I can not afford to have. Also, my dad keeps asking me when will I start taking the class and I'm still not saying what you can afford. (60k a year and lives with his father and has no bills, or think they would give me the 1500 to take the class?) It hurts me because I never did anything for me and knows I want to take this class, but I do not you can afford. While talking about buying a car yourself and take a vacation to Florida ....

I feel so useless now, because my husband is the only one working, who have no health insurance .... I feel I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I need advice .... a little help. It's very difficult to be forced to be out on his own at age 21 when his father died, I have no family / parents to use .. just my husband and me. Even though I have 27 years now I still feel like I was struggling emotionally to do things together ..
Answer1ESLstudentAnswered at 2012-08-17 09:26:34
The only one who can fix you emotionally . Do not worry about your father and let go of any resentment there. Let him do what he wants with his money, as is yours. If you are a selfish *** with him, then he is a selfish *** with him. I saw my mother piddle away more than a million dollars in life insurance and other assets after the death of my father. Probably closer to 2mil if one considers the land of their own too. She gave me a dime for college, but that has not stopped me yet, and you should not let that stop you . Sounds like you are blocking their own future , living in their past honestly. I know that losing a parent horrible, but that does not mean that gives you an excuse not to grow or bemoan their fate. We all have our burdens in life, and once you realize that and start moving his will makes your life better. By the way, so you know , nobody has things completely together. We all have things we prefer not to think , and things that hurt a little. We all have our own skeletons in a way. His handling of those who makes you who you are.
Answer2MarziAnswered at 2012-08-18 08:23:31
I'm really sorry to hear that you are going through a time so dark. My parents divorced when I was 15, and was very hard. But I can not imagine the pain you feel for your mother.

In my opinion, has suffered more than a young person has to go! You look like a very strong woman, even if you do not feel that strong right now. You have a great husband, and he is working hard to support him. This shows he loves and cares about you. I think you should talk to him about how you're feeling right now, but if you have not done. And maybe get a part time job and save some money for the class? Not only will it help you feel better about yourself for your help, but you will also be busy and have less time to think about things that bother you.

Also, I think it's a very good idea for their psychological health and stability, to sever ties with his father. Until he gets up on his feet. Or at least limit its neccessary to talk to him just the basics, and only then. He was not there for you or your mom. And it remains a thoughtless, lazy idiot, freeloader! I do not think it deserves to have in your life until you come to the understanding and apologizes to you. Are very useful to limit or stop contact with him temporarily or permenantly. Because we are not always remembering that your dad is not there for you, or make you bitter of all the material things you have.

Sure, he does not have to pay the bills, and you can buy a convertible. But so what? He abandoned his family, and no matter how many possessions you buy, you can never be felt like a real man again.

I know what it feels like to have the weight of the world on his shoulders. It's tough. While casually looking for a part-time work, maybe try some things to destress. Having a movie night with her husband and some friends maybe. Or take a new hobby. Join a gym, or find something you relaxs. Set a goal of something you've always wanted to do. Like traveling to a country, etc. and focus on improving yourself, relax a little, and carry out their dreams.

There is no feeling that sense of pride. I really do not expect things better. And I hoped that helped a little. Maybe if you want a few laughs, go to failblog.org. Always makes me smile. :].
Answer3DixieAnswered at 2012-08-18 23:44:03
Why everyone wants to vacation here? MedlinePlus is shit hot and humid or rainy. My parents divorced when I was 6mo and then my mom divorced my stepfather when I was 12, so I have not had a father figure either. MedlinePlus I am not in the exact situation as you, but I have 25 years with two small children at home and lost my second child, so I know how it feels to lose someone close to you, now I'm working in a dead-end job fair above minimum wage for a third shift work, and second my part time job is to clean laundry and my boyfriend can not find work right now either.I just signed up for the GED class, and after that I'm not sure I want to do. I know it will start class for diagnostic medical sonographer, but I'm thinking I'll go first by CNA, so I have at least getting paid better for that.Although cna class is around $ 500 I think going to be a good investment for now. I have thought about trying a state grant for class though.Maybe sonographer can prove that, in addition, subsidies and / or cna classes just for starters. MedlinePlus MedlinePlus I stopped all contact with my father, who only called when drunk and never financially.Even help me when I was broke and had no money for diapers and no idea what he was going to help me pass. my-father was more useful than just a mother Lil that.my other hand is helpless.she need more help than I do in this point.she is raising my 3 young brothers.one have to go to the point college after high school and one that is a mooch.And my sister is not much help to anyone, least of herself.I have learned that if I need / want something I have to do I had to leave myself.at 18 on my own to get away from all that. MedlinePlus MedlinePlus I try not to look back and think about things, just look ahead and make plans and do not let it deviate as I did for 5 years.If I had gone to school when I first spoke to you five years ago i wouldn 't be in the mess I'm in now! MedlinePlus MedlinePlus find scholarships or get a part time job and save, that's all the advice I came sweety.i the best, always good luck.and can e-mail me through here if you need to talk alone.
Answer4mohanAnswered at 2012-08-22 09:55:03
I can understand your situation . It is very unfortunate . I grew similarly in both parents and other relatives were very selfish . I had to leave as soon as I turned 18 and rely only on myself . It was difficult , especially because my friends were receiving new vehicles for his birthday , was worthy of the family relationships and that sort of thing . MedlinePlus MedlinePlus The upside is that you get a lot of important life skills . Their employers pick how well manage stress and take responsibility , then that helps you get better and better jobs . The experience I had in front of her mother's problems is huge in that regard. It could not be so great in a resume , but you certainly do well in almost any job . MedlinePlus MedlinePlus If I were you , I 'd just bend over and work for a large company . Get a job entry level salary for a shit and see how fast you work your way up . Only the environment will encourage you because there is work to be done and that gives it a certain dynamism to everything. You do not even have time to think about other issues .
Answer5lover454Answered at 2012-09-06 13:01:03
At least you have someone by your side . Im 27 pregnant with my fourth child and the father does not want to be out there . My father died a week after my 14th birthday and me and my family ( including my mother ) does not speak at all. My friends call me only when they want to watch .... talk about feeling useless I have no one to love me.
Answer6anumAnswered at 2012-09-06 21:54:03
If you have no child , go get a job - any job, just to get out of the house . Actually , get one with med insurance if you can. MedlinePlus MedlinePlus Also ask your father for the 1500 directly to the school . You've got nothing to lose . You can tell you're going to pay it back if that's what it takes . Maybe you can get insurance through the school ? It is very important . MedlinePlus MedlinePlus Then see a counselor of some sort. Some people get depressed and can not help it. Sounds like once you get a job or go to school and start doing something with yourself , you will feel better . MedlinePlus Do not be afraid to ask for things - as part of his father . Sounds like you should anyway.
MedlinePlus Good Luck .
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