I beat myself down with self hate because it's the only way I know to motivate myself. How can I change?e?

Answers:1   |   LastUpdateAt:2012-10-12 04:42:02  

Question
bekka
Asked at 2012-09-23 18:23:03
Im really happy with the way my life has turned out. Im trying to change. But I can not hate and despise myself and it has made my life worse and worse. I was raised a Jehovah's Witness. MedlinePlus left at 22 I have 24 years now. MedlinePlus I live in a house with a group of undergraduate students who have no social skills and have no way to contribute to my needs as a person. MedlinePlus MedlinePlus I bought a dog, but could not stand, so I gave it to my parents. MedlinePlus MedlinePlus My brother bought me a car, but it broke and not pay parking fines I accumulated in a few months. MedlinePlus MedlinePlus My parents put me in culinary school and graduated just to move from one job to another being fired everywhere I go. MedlinePlus MedlinePlus I feel like everyone in my town just avoids eye contact with me, even when I do my best to smile and wave and be friendly. I think it's because I stink. I've always been sweating. It even had a nickname in elementary school. MedlinePlus MedlinePlus I heard im attractive. I just I can not have that side of myself to shine. MedlinePlus MedlinePlus I smoke a lot of grass so you can deal with my depression that has progressively worsened since I was 10. I have no money for medicine or therapy, so do not bother. MedlinePlus MedlinePlus I have about 25K in student loans and a couple of thousand on credit cards. MedlinePlus MedlinePlus I'm black. I was born I berkeley, but apparently, blacks are not usually at the top of the hierarchy in the city. Most ignorant prejudices exist in the same school and therefore in the city as never did. MedlinePlus MedlinePlus Therefore, I have decided I am worthless as a couple and as a human being. I hate myself because I'm to blame for the situation of shit in my life. I went to culinary school, my first girlfriend cheated on by kissing with another girl and then says to myself! Like an idiot. Configuring ******* a chain reaction of bad relationships. MedlinePlus MedlinePlus I have no value to myself. Doing so could have had the balls to hold a steady job. Just do not know what to do now. With my life. No romantic prospects, there is no reason to develop my mind and body. MedlinePlus MedlinePlus Why people hate failures like me so much?
Answer1jisunAnswered at 2012-10-12 04:41:46
Witness I was raised well and I can say that can ruin their self-esteem horrors . Think back to the meetings , you never do enough , you can always get more responsibility , why are not groundbreaking , are you informally witnessing at the workplace ? MedlinePlus MedlinePlus Only heaped upon you . If I ever really believed it , his conscience could be running out of control with you . As his consciousness refers qualified witness , not going to meetings , you are living with a group of "worldly" people , using drugs and getting into trouble with the girls mundane . MedlinePlus MedlinePlus You may not believe it now , but you have to train your awareness to your current value system . I'm not sure how much advice can be given by a fragment of history here , but I suggest you go to see a doctor and get a prescription for an antidepressant MedlinePlus . MedlinePlus Then I suggest you take a critical look at what is being fired from their jobs . Somehow I doubt that prejudice would be at stake if you were hired in the first place . MedlinePlus MedlinePlus The best you can do is be honest with yourself . What are their strengths , what are their weaknesses , how can you work on your weaknesses ? Do not focus on the mistakes , but not fire either. You can not change the past and will never be able to. Learn from your mistakes and resolve not to make them again . You should also do some soul searching to find out what you like and what makes you happy. Try to find people with a value system similar. MedlinePlus MedlinePlus You are not a congregation more . You do not have to like the people you are grouped with . You have the freedom to choose . MedlinePlus MedlinePlus If you have any other questions , my email is in my profile.
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