Abusive Marriage..His Family now involved..? related questions

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Abusive Marriage..His Family now involved..?2ozzy2012-09-28 22:54:03
My husband was in the Navy in California. We are still married .. only two years living together. All went well at first (Normal) and then suddenly stopped sending money, threatened to divorce me for no reason (he said he talked to some guys on his boat on things, and you'd better straighten up) I was doing the laundry when they were in port, cooking, cleaning .. I did everything! I asked him to give me only about 300 of the paid every two weeks. After his threat and returning from his six months at sea, it was a different person .. took off all the time .. borrow and do not tell me, I never had money and nothing to show for it, I knew he was cheating (he was but no idea how many times or people .. or if men or women or both) their anger was explosive even my 3 children (which he had not before) he hit my daughter .. I was pregnant (I did not have money for food (which was on bed rest during pregnancy high risk at that point), but I had to go to the churches of food ... when he hit my daughter fills me and went to a shelter. Their parents did not know they were married and I was pregnant! I found out when I called them. said they wanted no part in our problems. Ok well .. He is a compulsive liar and manipulator Total . was seeing another woman as soon as I entered the DV shelter and for 3 months after leaving the army me and my children move back into the house with him not being there. said he loved me and wanted a divorce (if right) anyway, he was expelled from the military (which is due to finances) The boys and I went back to Arizona. returned two months later. now I'm in a homeless shelter for work .. ( going to school for my RN also) not working and living with mom and dad. Their parents were kind to me and gave me his old car and I thank you .. but I hate being told now they are paying for their Divorce and Custody Attorneys (our daughter is 18 months and now it has been about 5 times!) Her parents ran a background check on me and his dad basically told me that they know everything about me .. that I have horrible credit have gotten traffic tickets (I never denied that my husband has bad credit .. and the tickets were for speeding, I used to have a heavy foot) I have only fear. want to know if anyone has been through this before .. lata his parents just take care of this? Does my background (never stopped) used against me for a divorce or custody? There are rich .. I got the 2 bedroom sets that I asked for them and everything else was mine before marriage. I have fear of losing our daughter. He and his parents are crazy (I mean really strange people.) really need to know what to expect. What is allowed in the court ... no become a haven if abuse and he abused my children? Maybe his parents will be there and run your mouth even though I do not know (met about 4 times in person.) I feel as if they thought he is still a child, and I do not think I should be involved in our divorce and custody hearing.'ve spoken to him and he says he wants to be civil and work all we can get along .. but after all the lies that believe it (there is no trust left) and I do not want to go to court and lose my daughter.'m really scared and really annoyed by their parents. Sorry I wrote a book .. any help is appreciated.
Friend in an abusive family needs help?6saku..2012-10-12 21:23:02
An online friend who is 24 years old, single mother ( a child ) and living with his parents desperately need to get out . The fights with their parents have gotten physical . She says her mom constantly yells about how useless it is . She showed me photos of her bruises . She lives in a remote area , no car and your parents will not pay the money to leave, saying that it is your responsibility . I would like a plan to get her out , but everything I've suggested that she refuses or says that will not happen ( says it's not eligible for public assistance ) . Short of calling the police myself (which I do not want that because he fears he will lose custody of her son ) , I'm totally lost . (I can not lend you money . ) Tried to swallow a small amount of sleeping pills last night. Fortunately, threw up. Any ideas on what options are open to it ?
What to do with financial baggage from before marriage, during marriage?0de de2012-10-04 08:52:36
This is definitely something that couples should discuss before marriage. (Go to the end of the question whether or not they like to read because it's a long story) I have not done this, now its the only arguments we've had throughout our relationship and takes a toll on me! ! Never mind that still have loved and married him, but still should be discussed before too! MedlinePlus MedlinePlus This is the story of my perfect loving care for my husband is amazing, but economically it is very irresponsible. I knew I had accounts, but failed to fully tell me how bad it was in the hole, when he reported on the bills you had before the marriage. I take care of my own bills I had before our marriage and what is he doing here is the biggest problem. MedlinePlus MedlinePlus He was in a relationship for three years before he was with me. In this relation was living the lifestyle marriage without being married, sharing a bank account, credit cards, rent, car, etc, etc. It accumulated debt with xy not think hmm what if this does not work for their very easy to walk away are not married! Anyway, took out a debt consolidation loan in conjunction with them to resolve their stupid financial mistakes. They were living beyond their means and it backfired. So of coarse they separated and what happens ... HELL! Now I had to figure out what's what! He basically took the bills with her name and she had hers ignoring which had in common. So when she started dating thick angry because he wants it back and he clearly evident that he was going to choose (they were not together when we met but she was still struggling to recover is a good guy actually nonfinancial lol) , so now she's a woman scorned (hell hath no fury). MedlinePlus MedlinePlus So then joins the army, while in Basic, sent his three checks to pay your debt consolidation loan. I advise against this thick remembered as pain and angry she is! No, he did not hear that she took the money and paid his rent went on vacation to the beach, she went out with a bang and still have it hanging by the neck with this loan or should I say hanging balls! It also has a closed system (so far discovered hell told u I can not keep this account open) SunTrust account with it, that is jointly owned and still owe money together! So when he gets out of basic AIT, then got married in the air about a month later. As we plan for our future fairytale love together started the issue of invoices, the drama begins with us now ... before that never had a serious discussion, besides the small or why not call or recall things! MedlinePlus MedlinePlus I basically (in the discussion) is told he has to take care of it because it will affect us getting anything such as a home or car later and I feel like he saved me a lot of this before when we talked of our accounts before marriage and went to a lot a lot! I do not know if he was embarrassed, but I still feel it should have been discussed. So tell him to call her and all who share bills and set things right. MedlinePlus MedlinePlus Results: Citifinancial not divide the loan, but because he said trying to pay but their x pocketing the money and then be in training was on the wall, so they put him in good standing with the account and set it up with decent payments. Then xy spoke with told me how much he could pay per month. With SunTrust said he was going back to her, but when she tried to respond to her four days have passed since I spoke with her and she still has to answer for what he was in his public facebook any1 can see ( i love facebook) and status reading "I wonder if they do not respond for 2 days ... will you get the point." this was written yesterday. So knowing how an angry woman can not believe she will pay no legal action. MedlinePlus MedlinePlus Here are my questions: MedlinePlus - Is it a matter of MedlinePlus small claims court? Am I wrong to say what I want to be responsible for paying all the bills, and I come to him every time one of us gets paid and I say what I will be paying, but I'll be the one physically responsible to do so? I think he feels emasculated by me saying that I do not think I can handle the math! MedlinePlus I-was wrong to open a joint savings account for the two to put money into (he knew it would not be common I thought it would be for me, but he put the money in it too. Then open a checking account with the same bank later, although he said he wanted to feel I should have at least let you know) MedlinePlus - How does my file against her husband? (I asked to pay half of the loan less the bills or purchases that have proven his) MedlinePlus -What would be the best evidence to bring to court? MedlinePlus - What if he is ordered to pay to the court, but time passes and she still has not paid? How much time is given to pay? MedlinePlus -Do u think take it to court as I have been suggesting for the past two months is a
Abusive Ex Boyfriend?5Keisha (for drwls)2012-09-07 12:59:03
I am currently in college and live in a dormitory. I left an abusive relationship with a boyfriend in particular a few years ago but lives in my hometown and has since been sexually assaulted me when I went home to visit for the Christmas holidays . My parents know nothing about the abuse, past or recent . Constantly wonder when I'm coming home next door. They think that I have problems with them, which is not the case at all. I wish I could go home as a normal college student feels safe and rested. This, however , is not the case. I fear when I go home . I was in high school when the abuse occurred and he was a fighter and my father was the wrestling coach 's head . They were close and tell my parents about the abuse would be incredibly difficult. And it really is not an option I'm looking for now. Previous summers I worked at summer camps , so leave my small town , and out of the situation . This summer is not an option because I have a big car loan I have to pay and I have an old summer job as a lifeguard that pays very well. I often worry about what will happen this summer if I 'm going home. I dread going home this summer. I looked for work in the city is my school , which is also small, and have not found anything above minimum wage. Also, my mother is very determined to have me home for the summer. She knows very well my old boss and has already spoken to him about that again for the summer (I'm from a small town and these things happen when everyone knows ) I'm really at a loss what to do . Any advice would be helpful . Thank you ! .
I am in abusive relationship and want to leave but nowhere to go please help?0Kenny2012-11-03 18:23:02
I've been in this relationship for 5 years. I met him on the Internet and after a month advised me to watch. He visited my country and wanted to go a step further after your visit, so we were in 24/7 online contact and then after 5 months advised he is moving to my country. I solved a job in my company, but stayed only seven months, because it was not able to keep the job, he did not like and was more manual work than the office. So we decided that we move in the UK and began her abusive relationship and NGOs. First incident occurred just after a few months, when I finished the job and it was quite late at night but he was not home. I called him because I do not know where and I was a little scared if he's okay. He answered his phone drunk (and probably also some medications) was at a friends house. It was a sign of disrespect in the first place. Thereafter it became increasingly abusive and when I tried to speak my mind He'e yelling at me, holding the door, so I can not move anywhere, holding me by the next day in bed sp term lots of bruises because I'm trying to escape or defend themselves. I took a loan from my name and use it to pay off some accounts (mine and hers) and I also bought a car. The lease is in my name, but without it I can not afford to Efford. We are also indebted to a water bill. I recently lost his job and faced misscariage. I want to quit because there is more sense in this, but I'm stuck because they have nowhere to go t will end up with a lot of accounts that can not afford to pay myself. My parents live in a different country, but I do not want to go back. I do not know what to do and where to go to escape. He uses the fact that they have nowhere to go, so it's even more abusive or manipulative. These events are repeated at least once a month. I panicked because I recently started drinking I could not and I will not but it seems quick relief problems. If you have experienced similar please tell me where to go from here? I do not come from poor family and am not addicted to drugs, never tried drugs in my life.
Should I take money from someone in an abusive situation?1The Curse Word Destroyer, age 112012-10-23 10:02:03
The only college that I can get into (for complicated reasons also related to my main problem) has the very high tuition fees and I can not get a loan to cover them all. MedlinePlus MedlinePlus I had to wait a long time to go to college first, because my father abused me, we live in an isolated house and brought my low self esteem and I said it was not worth going (even though I am a student * A). I wanted to go to college right after high school, but I said no, that will help you go next year. So I started to work and focus on next year, but he kept pulling me in different jobs, when I put in a good, I could go out and say that he would help finance and I could go, but never made. It was always "I'll let you go next semester." He is a control freak. MedlinePlus MedlinePlus I wanted to leave but could not afford to A: go out and B:. Finance my own tuition and living allowances while MedlinePlus MedlinePlus He was one of the two, so I decided to put up living there and focus in college (when I graduate, I'll make enough so that I do not have to live at home anymore). MedlinePlus MedlinePlus I went to college myself after 3 years of waiting around, tried to stop him leaving the house when he saw that I go with my case - and I had to call the police when he tried to refrain from physically leaving home. My money is not quickly reached after a few months, for the reasons I described earlier. Now, he is willing to help me if I stay in college, but his emotional abuse continues and still screaming on the phone to me, and while I'm on vacation I'm not worthy. MedlinePlus MedlinePlus He has trouble controlling extreme anger and my family has used as verbal (and sometimes physical) punchbag since I have memory. My mother does not love himself and says he deserves it, she defends him, so it's no help. I constantly feel scared around. MedlinePlus MedlinePlus I know that if I can finish college, I will be able to make a higher salary and escape ... but for complex reasons (also due to interference), I was not able to qualify for a normal university, and must attend it charged higher rates. MedlinePlus MedlinePlus I'm not comfortable with him paying ... Sometimes you just want out of it .. and find a support group for women ... back to college and eventually when I can afford it ... but my life has been waiting long enough. MedlinePlus MedlinePlus I feel my self-esteem is low, because in order to take your money, I have to listen to their cries of how terrible I am. Whereas if I left him, I would not be able to enter the university for a long time and I would be all alone (my mother will never leave you nor I support if it is against their wishes). It seems foolish not to take their money, but every time I'm around him, I have physical fear and cried constantly for the smallest things - despite being a hopeful and optimistic person, this has caused me a lot of depression MedlinePlus. MedlinePlus I'm looking for professional help, but at the same time maybe I can help heal my wounds, can not pay for me to go to college, so it's not a real solution to my situation. MedlinePlus MedlinePlus I am seeking advice from all sources. Should I allow him to help me to graduate faster and out of my life for good and get a secure job, or should I reject your help and do it myself (it will take much longer)). MedlinePlus MedlinePlus I do not qualify for a scholarship, because it makes decent enough money, so I'm not a very poor family. I've looked at every possible option financially, but I had no need to take out and work harder and accept their help. I can not do enough to keep me while studying.
What should I do with my financially abusive husband?12Fuzzy Logic 2012-10-06 19:17:05
I can not believe this! My husband stole money from me ! MedlinePlus MedlinePlus My husband is extremely abusive, emotional , mental , economic and verbally . Regarding finances , the first year we were together , did not work and I was the only money home brine. He forced me to get a loan and a credit card for a business idea that would benefit both imaginative in the future , then he took the credit card and loan me and spent it on large purchases for himself and change his phone Mobile and cars every month . He promised to pay at least the minimum payment , but because he had no income , obviously not paying and ended with a huge debt (
I need your advice on my financially abusive husband?1Ingra2012-10-16 09:18:03
My husband is a compulsive liar , a loser , he was fired after one month where he works . He forced me to get a loan 3 years ago when she began living with me and it was not working , spent my loan and credit cards and now I'm in debt
Does anyone else have a verbally and emotionally abusive mother?2Bobbi Loffredo2012-09-16 17:27:04
My mother is emotionally abusive ... the root of the problem is that it is very unhappy . We immigrated to Canada 15 years ago and has never been really happy here . She can be very loving and caring and I know she wants the best for me , but also can be very cruel. Sometimes I hate both . He often makes comments about my weight , clothes , the way I look, my boyfriend etc. Nothing seems to make her happy . She is from a culture that is obsessed with appearances. When I tell you that you're hurting me , she calls me sensitive ... she really thinks this. I have 30 years and I had to move house for a couple of years in order to get ahead ... I have student loans and no money for a down payment on a car or a house ... I'm desperate . I live here for a year eventually will help, but when my mother is in one of tyrades .... beware. I know people will say it's horrible, but I know she is really unhappy .. and this is what we are used to. Does anyone else have this experience ?
What option is best when you have an abusive unemployed husband?1Susie ... HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!2012-10-10 09:18:02
My husband is really nasty, offensive, lazy and a liar. I'm not exaggerating. The only reason I am now with him is because in two months, I have to change my green card from conditional permanent. MedlinePlus MedlinePlus I was doing a PhD Genetics Scholarship last year, saved up and bought a car, forced me to leave college and I was going to divorce and get custody of our 3 year old daughter and sent me back to Iran ( where I'm from), so I had to leave school even though I was a top student. Sold my car without my consent and spent the money, then when I confronted him he told me that if I complain to present a petition for divorce. I've been staying at home for nine months while he's been on unemployment benefits for the past 9 months. Before coming here we lived in England for five years, and England was $ 40,000 in debt to my name and ruined my credit, so when I arrived here, I separated from my bank account it, your credit score is due so many years 350 debt and my credit score in U.S. is now 800 as I have been super careful with that. Now it forces me to get a loan and give, but I'm not stupid more. I married him because she loved him deeply, but now I just feel the frustration and betrayal and any opportunity to divorce him, but our daughter is a U.S. citizen and I need to get my permanent residence have an equal right to be with her. MedlinePlus We now live in a very small town, Fayetteville in Arkansas, I'm thinking of moving to Dallas, you obviously do not have money, but my reasoning is that if we were there, the cost of living is the same as here, but at least put work will be plentiful for both, and in six months time I will get my green card in hand, I will be able to work and divorce him. The problem is the cost of relocation. My father sent me $ 7000 I've kept hidden for him, but I'm thinking of investing in our transfer. MedlinePlus MedlinePlus The other option is to stay here for another six months, until the paperwork is fully completed, then the divorce and move, but again if you want to move, and do not agree because we have a son, I think I'll be trapped in this small town and its unemployment could be stopped at any time, I do not know. MedlinePlus MedlinePlus MedlinePlus It's pretty sad that I have to divorce this man over time due to have a baby, but I need to step up and be a responsible parent. What action do you think is more responsible? MedlinePlus 1) go to Dallas now with my money, and then go set MedlinePlus 2) or just be here, waiting for months and months, and then see what my options are the future?
I need to get out of a cosigned student loan for abusive Ex- husband?0pinki2012-10-14 21:25:15
10 years ago co-signed a student loan for my ex abusive husband . Two days after signing the loan that I left and got a restraining order . It's in my divorce decree it compensation , but the loan company will not honor . ( I understand it is not a party to the divorce ) I had to sign the loan because our return last fiscal year was presented jointly by his wife , and would not give a loan to any of us independently ( I paid ) said the original amount and became a master ( org amt was $ 15,000 and it took a total of $ 26,000 ) loan co says I am liable for $ 26,000 . He also learned that he forged my name on your tax return after our divorce and married filing jointly said . Now out of the country in CA and is 2 months late. Do I have any recourse? I'm not your wife . I signed because I was afraid of what he would do to me if he did not sign . I have documentation of the restraining order which details an example of his abuse , therapist who observed his behavior threatening, police reports of his bad attempt ( riped phone lines in my house ) . There can be this damaging my credit at this time and can not pay the loan . I can not have any contact with him as he tried to hurt me in the past , when ever I have run into the other . ( I ran my car off the road , or follows me around town ), what I can do. I can not wait until it hurts my credit card and then take you to court .
My daughter is stealing and lying and being abusive to me what do i do. she constantly lies to me.?4Furter 2012-10-04 03:47:02
I divorced her father when she was 9, my daughter lost her grandmother at age 14 she was raped 4 months after that.Ever since I was 13 I used to go drinking in the street, etc. I've tried everything it would not work at school then went to college, but had a lot of days off lying. She has an older sister , whose nearly 20 and shes been getting levels and going to college in September that never does anything wrong she also has a part time job for her is constantly working all due to itself, could to add. Both have have a good holiday abroad all his life I tried not to be treated differently I'm trying more with less lately, but she continues to release back into my face that she also owes a debt to borrow cash but not to get but has administrative expenses for ive got your card bank for when she gets her hand out i make sure you have paid. I used to think it was the company she owns, but not now. I recently learned that she took the jewels of my room that was mine and my late mother and sold it for money, so her parents sent her then robbed them both of us were arrested along with a warning, but it is yet to take it from me i check before she leaves her terrible, but I can not pull out shes came to nothing more than a few nights in a group of friends who is 18 but what do i do I can take her to a therapist.

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