What to do when you can't stand your in-laws?

Answers:8   |   LastUpdateAt:2012-08-28 08:40:15  

Question
hobbies
Asked at 2012-08-09 01:59:02
My family of her husband is almost unbearable for me to deal with now. I've been so kind to them too nice, they've constantly taken advantage of me. I have gone above and beyond being nice. He seems never to return favors. My mother asked about ridiculous things that did not pay for their college brothers and was nearly expelled from school I wanted my husband to co sign and that will make payments on the loan, forgotten long before we've had to pay, so do not hit my husbands credit. Not a priority for her. She always asks for money .. or used to finally began to say no, but still asks again and again anytime you need it and still say no sorry, it does not. Occasionally will launch a desirable thing and demand, and if my husband says they will not freak out, either angry or mourn. It's ridiculous .... it happens all the money and then ask us for money, more of us have more bills and have 3 children and my husband just had surgery on the ankle. I used to always borrow my car and I would be fine, but she has a two-seater, so it stays at home. Now she has my lawnmower and weed wacker and my hopes that I come to find that my lawn is more grown up! haha ... the list goes on and then my sister in laws .. Take care of my sister in law's son all the time and my other sister in law is supposed to make every day at 3, but still has plans for what I call last minute to tell me she work is scheduled later or something or have an appointment. She only makes plans without informing me that she is not picked up at 3:00. When I say that not all gang together and question why I can not do this or that for the other ... and when I say they're not what unnappreciative for all I've done. What's the babysitter .... your child every summer for the past 2 years free, driving my sister around the laws, when they had no licenses, providing them with my car, lending them money that we had to learn that just blew theres on shoes or lying . My mother is special to my husband's nephew, she puts him to the movies, fun things to the pool and never take my children anywhere and never offers to support them. My oldest son are both very good at public and independent dressing, feeding cleaning, etc. I can not stand to live near them my family is 3 hours away and is always against us. My mother is the worst. It's almost enough for me to run the other way and change my name! My husband defends them when on certain occasions, when I used to nanny .. she feels sorry for them, but never for me. I do not mind. If not for my children I'd run like hell ... my family is poor, but they do ... load that they're all so easy going, does not ask anything unless its fall to come out.
Answer1phathutshedzoAnswered at 2012-08-09 05:48:01
Just stay away from them.
Answer2elvisAnswered at 2012-08-10 02:25:02
I know how you feel, I and my sister do not get along , and she is always trying to find a way to cause a problem or arguement between my husband and me. What I learned is to never let them see you sweat. Have a conversation with her ​​husband and say what you feel and if he does not agree or have at his side, just say no and do not let anyone take advantage of you. You have to tell you that you are married and you are their first priority and must be always at your side, no matter what. Kill them with kindness and courtesy, but I always say I'm sorry but no, everything, and kept as far from them as possible. If you and your husband, being very close and happy, and your laws do not cause any problems and not get their way , you win.
Answer3adrinaAnswered at 2012-08-10 09:07:03
Unfortunately , it seems that you are going to have to endure because her husband is on his side . The only way out is to stop doing something for them, but then you will hate . If you do not like , then just tell them no and they say whatever they want. I bet after a couple of you is not left alone.
Answer4mirAnswered at 2012-08-10 20:05:03
Never give more than they want in life .

Learn the phrases " I can help you when I'm finished and I can help X for 1 hour only .." and "Sorry, that will not work for me. "
Answer5AlayasiaAnswered at 2012-08-14 13:10:03
This is so easy it's ridiculous ..... Just Say No! If your mother had a fit , tell him leave the house (her husband must deliver this, obviously) Tell your sister in law can not be a babysitter more ( give 2 weeks notice so you can find another caregiver ) Go get your lawnmower and do not give a damn shit again , again .... the next time you borrow something to say no!

The biggest problem is actually your husbands reaction . You need to have a serious conversation with him on how he feels treated by his family and that you are married and this must be a team and that has to be on your side not theirs . His laws are easy to fix (said No, see trouble, is still sweet and ignore their attacks )

EDIT ::) Well, there's something you have to work. Be assertive and learn to say no, even if it makes you feel uncomfortable. You know you have power over yourself and what you do with your life and chose to live happy!
Answer6CeciliaAnswered at 2012-08-14 21:36:02
hello I 'm sorry about your unhappy.I learned that giving is a way to receive. Honorable your husband is going to defend his family like you would your cries own.harping probably argue about it too provides only distance between you and your husband I wonder how the children are handling all this.
try to have an open conversation with her ​​husband, without his index finger , prepared stories
and bickering.tell him how you feel nicely.there is a compromise here, if both are willing to try at least one idea I had in mind, , see how much money you could afford to send her every month, letting you know it is. can reach many more commitments . custom that at least try? not fun when a family away from each other. Good luck and God bless
Answer7junoAnswered at 2012-08-16 08:14:03
Get over it . He married into the family and you have to deal with them as long as married. Be friendly , be polite and keep in touch and visits to a minimum ...

Add : o get over it and learn to live with it or get divorced . They are not going anywhere ... your husband is forever part of your family . There are things you can do ( and say no, stand up for yourself) that can help you deal better with them. But that's the best we can hope ... I can not stand my in-laws and have realized over time that my husband is like them and am now divorced. I do not want any part of it anymore.
Answer8KaliAnswered at 2012-08-28 08:40:15
Already a push over and their husbands a coward . Put your foot down and tell them to get the hell out . Establish women law. If man is not Maning up then you need to pick himself until he finds his nuts !
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